After signing up for NaNoWriMo several weeks ago, I anxiously awaited the start date. Now though, after 11 days, I'm struggling to hit 5000 words. My head has been all over the place, and I've had a serious case of avoidance - avoiding what I promised myself I would do. The baseball story geared toward 8-12 year old boys has been on my mind for months. I have the characters mapped out, the plot sort of mapped out, and it's now cold and crappy outside so I have no excuses but to sit my butt on the couch in front of the fireplace and write. Just sit down and write, Jen!!!! That's what I've been telling myself.
I have to be honest and admit that the rejections that are slowly popping up in my Inbox are not helping my motivation. At least once a day I ask myself what my purpose is and why I'm wasting my time with the whole writing business. Then, a little later on, I tell myself that if I quit now, all the time I spent over the last year was for nothing. A debilitating battle develops in my head EVERY SINGLE DAY. Oh, don't feel sorry for me. I clearly know the agony I put myself through. You know what the real kicker is? There is still a teeny, tiny part of me that thinks my writing career has a chance. UGH!!!!